【修持轨理 The Meditation Session】后时如何行者 What to do at the conclusion
日常师父法语 24B 24’53”手抄稿第三册 P284L2
24B 24’53” Vol. 3 of Master Jih-Chang’s Discourse P284L2
English Lamrim Volume 1, P100
【What to do at the conclusion】
I kept reading this treatise [i.e. the Lamrim] from the beginning to the end many times. During the first time, I did not understand it at all. But I felt joyful after reading it. That has been how long now, perhaps twenty-three years already, I cannot remember, it is either twenty-three years or twenty-two years. Even though I did not enjoy reading it, I still clenched my teeth to read through the entire treatise. Then later, I continued to study it. Ah! For every bit I read, I felt a little joy each time. But I did not see the key points. Later when I went to diligently meditate on my own, and tasted a little flavor of it, then when I opened up this book again, ah-ya! At that time, I realized that was how it should be. What was he [i.e. Master Tsong-kha-pa] telling us here? Once it becomes your bad habit, you cannot change it. He [i.e. the elderly practitioner who was affected by laxity] did not even know! Did not know. Even when he knew, he had no way of dealing with it. Even though we do not have the decades of experience like that elder senior, but for us here, many have had this experience before. Can you be mindful when you recite the Buddha's names? At that time, you will be thinking wildly with all sorts of ideas. You just cannot do anything about it. Or else you are in a state of laxity. You still cannot do anything about it. So after it becomes a bad habit, "it will be difficult to correct your awareness”!