【修持轨理 The Meditation Session】后时如何行者 What to do at the conclusion
【修持轨理】后时如何行者
我前前后后看这个论，从头到尾看过很多遍，第一遍看的时侯一窍不通，但是看了很欢喜。那个离开现在已经整整多少，二十三年了恐怕，我记不住，不是二十三年就是二十二年。虽然不欢喜，我还是咬紧牙关看到底；以后不断地看，啊！看一点欢喜一点，但是重点都看不见。以后后来我自已一个人跑得去用功，用了一点味道，再翻——哎呀！那个时候才了解原来这样。他这个上面告诉我们什么，你一旦这个恶习惯养成功了，改不过来了。他自己不晓得欸！不晓得。他虽然晓得了，是一点办法都没有。我们虽然没有像他那位老人家那么经验几十年，但是我们在座的，前面的同修们大家都有这个经验。你说你念佛你提得起来吗？到那个时侯就是胡思乱想，你就是拿它一点办法都没有；再不然它就是昏沉，你依旧拿它一点办法都没有。所以呀，养成了这个恶习惯是「极难医改」啊！
来源 SOURCE：
日常师父法语 24B 24’53”手抄稿第三册 P284L2
24B 24’53” Vol. 3 of Master Jih-Chang’s Discourse P284L2
English Lamrim Volume 1, P100
【Meditation Session】
【What to do at the conclusion】
I kept reading this treatise [i.e. the Lamrim] from the beginning to the end many times. During the first time, I did not understand it at all. But I felt joyful after reading it. That has been how long now, perhaps twenty-three years already, I cannot remember, it is either twenty-three years or twenty-two years. Even though I did not enjoy reading it, I still clenched my teeth to read through the entire treatise. Then later, I continued to study it. Ah! For every bit I read, I felt a little joy each time. But I did not see the key points. Later when I went to diligently meditate on my own, and tasted a little flavor of it, then when I opened up this book again, ah-ya! At that time, I realized that was how it should be. What was he [i.e. Master Tsong-kha-pa] telling us here? Once it becomes your bad habit, you cannot change it. He [i.e. the elderly practitioner who was affected by laxity] did not even know! Did not know. Even when he knew, he had no way of dealing with it. Even though we do not have the decades of experience like that elder senior, but for us here, many have had this experience before. Can you be mindful when you recite the Buddha's names? At that time, you will be thinking wildly with all sorts of ideas. You just cannot do anything about it. Or else you are in a state of laxity. You still cannot do anything about it. So after it becomes a bad habit, "it will be difficult to correct your awareness”!
