吉祥宝聚寺好文共赏:耕心 • 耕新

人人有心田,每个人对待的方式不一样。

有人痴呆没法耕,无奈。

有人懒,不想种田,最可惜。

有人重复种同一物种,地也贫了。

有人会轮种又会养地,收获丰盛。

有人只问耕耘,不问收获。

人人有心田,每个人对待的方式不一样。

有人痴呆没法耕,无奈。

有人懒,不想种田,最可惜。

有人重复种同一物种,地也贫了。

有人会轮种又会养地,收获丰盛。

有人只问耕耘,不问收获。

……。

自问,我是哪一种农夫呢?

心农要善耕心地,人生才会创新。

25年前,我初出家。师父要我观心──观察做每件事的动机。

师父说:“早上起床,摸摸头,为什么出家?”这是每天起床后第一个动作了。

用餐,看着食物:“为什么要吃这一餐?”

有时,吃到一半,师父送来一个眼神,好像告诉我:“你在吃贪心”,我才发现我吃多了。

扫地,师父说:“扫地扫地扫心地,心地不扫空扫地。”——心也扫掉了。

做事前,师父总是提醒:“您用什么动机?”做事时,师父问:“是不是只顾做好事,没顾好心啊?”

有次出门,师父说:“下脚每一步,都要注意自己的心在哪儿。”

心,是什么啊?

有一天,我心情不好,师父桌子一拍,说:“你来干什么?”对啊!我不是要来学佛的吗?怎么变成老是计较芝麻绿豆的小事?师父说:“天天心情不好,盘烦恼!”

有一次,认真办完了事,向师父报告。

师父问:“你在求什么?”我说:“想成佛,想利益众生。”师父说:“你是为了你自己。”

我一脸委曲,师父误会我了。

以前,我读中学时看一本漫画,描写一个青年,自私自利,占尽小便宜,后来村人都讨厌他。他只好流浪四方,性格依然不改。数十年后,穷途末路,回到家乡。村中一老人举起拐杖对他说:“人活着不是为了自己!”

不是为了自己,那为了什么?从此我被困忧多年。

现在,师父说“你是为了你自己”,又让我困忧。

师父交待办事,我高高兴兴地去做,想减轻师父的辛劳,怎么变成为了我?

师父没再回答我的问题。师父说:“你去反省反省!”

想不出来。我绕大殿佛陀,一圈又一圈,想:“我在求什么?我哪里是为了自己?”

我认真地办事,没愉懒,有问题吗?

我做事用心,又妥当,有问题吗?

办完事,赶快去报告成果,有问题吗?

好像还可以啊!

那是什么问题?是心吗?问题还是回到心上。

白天,一有空就绕佛思维。

我的心在想什么?想做好师父交待的事。

为什么想做好事?因为想让师父高兴。

为什么想让师父高兴?因为师父希望众生得到利益。

我有想到众生吗?没有,我只有想到师父。

想到师父什么事?希望师父高兴。

为什么师父高兴那么重要?因为师父高兴,就会称赞我。

我是想得到师父称赞而做事?好像是,好像不是……

夜深人静,正好加紧用功。我在求什么?

如果师父不称赞,我会想去做事吗?也会,但没动力。

现在那么有动力去做事,是因为想得到师父的赞美?是的。

我是为了赞美而做事?是的。

我是为了赞美,不是为了师父在意的众生苦乐。

我是为了我。我想求得赞美的快乐,忘记了别人的痛苦。

所以师父说“你是为了你自己”!我在求名,变成了名利客。

回报思维过程,师父说:“我们凡夫啊,就被这个‘我’绑得死死的,一天到晚就只想到‘我’。”

那一次反省,对我往后的学习产生了很大的警惕。

我也不断学习更深刻地反省自心动机。

要做的事仍在做,心田也在耕,不敢荒废。

边做边修——修正动机。别人看到我勇猛地做事,而我心无声无息地调整动机。

每一次摆正,自己深深地被感动,美极了。

认真地耕耘心田,收获美极了。

每一次反省与调整后,让我的生命再再地创新。

Everyone's heart is a piece of rich pasture, and each individual treats it differently.

Those who are ignorant are  unable to cultivate it. Thus, helpless.

Those who are lazy, do not wish to cultivate the field. This is most unfortunate.

Those who planted only a single species repeatedly, caused the pasture to be exhausted. 

Some practiced crop rotation, enriched the pasture and harvested abundantly.

Some only did their best in cultivation, and are not concerned about harvesting.

…..


So I asked myself, which type of farmer am I?

A farmer of the heart needs to virtuously cultivate, then will one have a life of creations.

25 years ago, when I was first ordained, Master Jih-Chang told me to watch my heart - to observe the motivation behind everything I do.

Master said, "When you wake up in the morning, touch your head and ask why did you get ordained? This would be the first action daily after waking up. 

During mealtime, looked at the food and questioned, "Why do I eat this meal?"

Sometimes, in the midst of a meal, Master would look in my direction, as if telling me, "You are consuming greed", and I realised I had eaten too much.

When sweeping the floor, Master would say, "Sweep the floor and cleanse our hearts. Sweeping without cleansing our heart is sweeping in vain." The heart was also swept away. 

Before I started carrying out tasks, Master would always remind me, "What is your motivation?" Upon completion, Master would ask, "Did you focus only on the tasks itself? Did you watch your mind?"

Once on a journey, Master said, "For every step we take, we have to watch where our mind is."

"Heart mind". What is it? 

One day, I was feeling down, Master hit the table and questioned, "Why are you here?" (I realised) Oh yes, aren't I here to learn the dharma? So why do I get caught up being calculative over small matters? Master said, "Moody everyday; twisting with afflictions!"

Once, after completing a task, I reported it to Master.

Master asked, "What is your motivation in this task?" I said, "To attain Buddhahood, to benefit all sentient beings." Master replied, "You are doing it for yourself."

I felt wronged; Master had misunderstood me.

When I was in secondary school, I read a comic which described about a youth who was very self-centred, and took advantage of everything. Everyone in the village disliked him and he had to leave, wandering from cities to cities. However, he was reluctant to change. After many years, he was so poor and desperate that he returned to the village. One old villager raised his crutch and told him, "Human do not live just for themselves!"

If it is not for myself, then what is it for? Since then, I was troubled by this question for many years.

Now that Master said I was doing it for myself, I was even more puzzled and troubled.

I had carried out the tasks given by Master diligently and happily, in order to lighten Master's burden, so why did it become 'I did it for myself'?

Master no longer replied my question but said, "You should reflect more!"

I could not think of any satisfactory answer. Circumambulating the Buddha statue, round and round, I kept thinking, "what am I after? Did I do it for myself?"

I did my task diligently, I wasn't lazy. Where could be the problem?

I put my mind to the task, and completed them well, what was the problem?

After completion, I quickly reported the results. Was that a problem?

It seemed to be alright!

So what was the problem that Master mentioned about? Was it my mind? The issue still lied with my thoughts and motivation.

In the day, whenever there was time, I would circumambulate the Buddha statue and contemplate about the matter.

What was going on in my mind? Desire to complete the task allocated by Master.

Why did I want to complete the tasks? It was to make Master happy.

Why did I want to make Master happy? Because Master's wish was to benefit all sentient beings.

Did I think of all sentient beings? No, I only thought of Master.

What about thinking of Master? I wished to make Master happy.

Why was it important for Master to be happy? Because he would praise me.

So did I work only to desire Master's praises? It seemed like it, and it also seemed not...

In the silent of the night, I grabbed the opportunity to search deeper. What was I seeking for?

If Master did not praise me, would I do those tasks? I would, but not earnestly.

So now, the strong urge to complete the tasks was because I desired for Master's praises? The answer was yes.

So I carried out the tasks for praises? The answer was yes. 

I was after the praises, not for Master's concerns for all sentient beings' sufferings and happiness.

I did it for myself. I wanted the happiness from praises, and forgot about the sufferings of all sentient beings.

That was why Master reprimanded, "You did it for yourself!" I was seeking for fame and gain.

After reporting on my path of reflection, Master said, " We, ordinary folks are bound deeply by the concept of 'self', and only thinking of 'self' day in day out."

That reflection journey was a very great reminder for my future cultivation and learning.

In my path of learning, I continuously reflect deeply on my mind and motivation.

I continued with the tasks that needed to be done, and cultivated on my heart pasture too, never dared let it to waste.

Cultivating while completing the tasks - adjusting the motivation every now and then. From the surface, I was seen as working courageously, yet in my heart I was silently adjusting to the right motivation.

I was deeply moved by every adjustment to the right motivation, it was so wonderful.

Diligently cultivate our heart pasture, and it would reap wonderful results.

Every reflection and adjustment allowed my life to continuously renew to greater heights.