BW Monastery 吉祥宝聚寺

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【业果 The Varieties of Karma】会说话的两头瞒 Detrimental information between two parties is withheld by those who know how to speak.

业果 : 会说话的两头瞒

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55A 08'07" ~ 09'14" 手抄稿第七册P227 LL3    日常师父法语

所以我刚出家的时候,我的老师就告诉我,说「不会说话的两头搬」,搬弄是非的搬,「会说话的两头瞒」,我一直到现在受用不尽,一直到现在受用不尽!难免地,人家有的时候,碰见事情啊有点不大痛快,然后我们往往愿意做人情,「对啊!你对啊、你对啊!」你不要去说他对,你说他对,他觉得对的,火上加油。你倒是同情他,你是害了他,也害了你自己。那时候应该怎么办呢?碰见这种情况的时候,如果你有这种机会的话,你不妨说:「其实他对方倒无心的,我了解,他做过了事情以后,我跟他谈起来,他还觉得满对你抱歉的。」如果你背后这么一说,他心里面这个也就慢慢地舒解,对不对?所以你无形当中就做了好事了,所以记到,说「不会说话的两头搬,会说话的两头瞒。」如果说为了你自己的利益要去这样说的话,那是更可怕,更可怕!

来源 SOURCE :

日常师父法语📡55A 08'07" ~ 09'14" 手抄稿第七册P227 LL3            

55A 08'07" ~ 09'14" Vol 7 of Master Jih-Chang’s Discourse P227 LL3
English Lamrim Vol 1 P229

【The Varieties of Karma】- Detrimental information between two parties is withheld by those who know how to speak.

When I was first ordained, my teacher told me this, "Those who do not know how to speak would add fuel to the fire between the two parties." and "Those who do know how to speak would withhold detrimental information between the two parties."   I continue to benefit from this until now.  I continue to benefit from this until now!   It is unavoidable that people may run into things that make them unhappy.  Then we would often appease them by telling them, "Right!  You are right, you are right!"  You should not say that he is right.  When you say that he is right, he will feel that way.  This would add fuel to the fire (worsen the situation).  If you pity him, you will have harmed him and yourself.  What should you do then?  When you encounter situation like this, you might want to say this, "Actually, he didn't mean it.  I know.  After he did that, I talked to him about it, he actually felt quite apologetic to you."  If you say this after the incident, he will gradually declutter his mind.  Right?  Therefore, you would have imperceptibly done virtuous.  Thus, you should remember this, "Those who do not know how to speak would add fuel to the fire between the two parties."  "Those who do know how to speak would withhold detrimental information between the two parties."  If you are speaking on behalf of your own interest, then it is even more horrendous, more horrendous!